Dreaming Less Intro

Dreaming Less
Intro:

I stared at the bathtub, watching the water fall from the faucet; I bit my lip as I started feeling nervous about my choice. So I walked out of the bathroom, and searched around the house for the best tool I could use. A hair dryer? No, that’ll just make me seem famine, but that’s also too generic of a choice. I walked more around the house, still searching. My shaggy hair fell in front of my eyes, blocking my view. I would have put my glasses on but I saw no point in it anyway.

There was no point.

I picked up my toaster, debating on if it would be a good choice or not. I looked at my distorted reflection in it, and sighed. I never even ate toast, why would I use this? I walked out of the kitchen, still on my search. I could feel my stomach cringe as I was beginning to feel more nervous about my.

Was I backing out?

No. I can’t back out, not now.

I looked around my small living room, glancing at all my electronics that I could use; my T.V? No, it’s not worth carrying that heavy thing to the bathroom. I groaned, as I ran my hand through my shaggy hair. This was now turning to be way too long; I’ll be backing out before I know it. I walked into my room, deciding I needed my glasses on, since I was taking so long anyhow. I could taste the blood from biting my lip so hard. I glanced toward my game systems, debating if I would want to use any of those. Would I even want to use the few things that made me happy in life? I adjusted my, what I liked to call, my grandpa glasses. I walked outside, and into the shed out back. I was searching around, looking at all the electric tools I owned. Drills? So I can just be reminded of the man I never was?

Everyone would just laugh at me.

I walked back inside, and found myself in the bathroom again. I watched as the bathtub was now overflowing with water. I’ve wasted too much meaningless time I guess. I sighed again, and grabbed my hair dryer, and plugged it in.

“Might as well.” I told myself, as I was gripping my hair dryer.

I could really feel my stomach cringing, I just had to breathe. Breathe, just breathe. I stepped slowly into the bathtub; my jeans were now starting to get soaked at the bottom.
Why did I wear clothes?

The water is cold.

I tried breathing slowly, trying to loosen my grip on the hair dryer.

I could tell I was crying now.

Would anybody else know I was crying?

Would anyone care?

Does anybody care?

Was this a great idea?

Could I back out now, and change my life?

I was crying more.

Does happiness even exist?

Does hope exist?

Does love exist?

I heard a car pull into the driveway.

Could I be happy?

Would I be missed?

I shook my head violently.

“No . . . no one will care.”

I heard someone call my name as I dropped the hair dryer, trying to catch it last minute.

It didn’t matter.

(to be continued for now)